Paris Hilton Does David Letterman... Uh, Let's Rephrase: Hotel Heiress Appears on Late Show

For the record, let's be upfront about one thing: Letterman's not really our cup of tea these days; at half past 11 P.M., the Daily Show ends and our channel surfing starts to wander aimlessly up and down the the rank-and-file cable offerings, often stopping for small doses of E!, Court TV, and VH1--in other words, gossip, dramatic re-enactments and pop culture punditry. But when it comes to a Hilton sister, especially Paris, then Letterman wins the vote of our remote control.

Paris made her appearance on the Late Show, she said, on her way to dinner with her family at East Village hot spot Butter, which she explained was "downtown" and "cool."

So why Letterman? Well, the darn girl she is a'workin'--it's called the Simple Life 2 (if you call that "work"), the road-trippy follow-up to last year's Fox reality TV show sensation the Simple Life. In the first season, Hilton and gal pal Nicole Richie as well as a camera crew spent a month down on the farm doing chores, some of which wealthy lifelong Manhattanites can scarcely imagine.

Whataver the critics thought of the Simple Life, the Nielsen ratings said that YOU loved it! Or, rather, that the American television audience tuned in to the series in vast enough numbers to help convince the folks marketing hair-care products to spend money on 30-second ads on Fox.

But Paris wasn't just plugging the Simple Life 2 (and herself, but that's a given). Hilton will soon have her first CD released on her own "independent" label. The hotel heiress sings on the album and wrote many of the songs. She described her music style as a cross between New York early 80's new wavers Blondie and "rock."

Among the other tidbits revealed in her interview with Letterman was Paris's middle name (it's Whitney) and that she once rented a limousine in Las Vegas to drive her and a small menagerie of animals to her home in Los Angeles. During one of her many visits to sin city, Paris bought on impulse a slew of exotic pets. But when she got to the check-in counter at the airport for her return flight to L.A., the airline told her she couldn't take all the animals on the plane with her. The animals included a goat. During the six-hour journey back to La La Land, the mini-zoo pooped and peed like they owned the hired limo. It was disgusting, Hilton explained to Dave, but, she added, "I love animals!" (Aaaaaaaaaaaw! Ain't that sweet!)

Our best moment ever during Paris's ten minute's on the Late Show hot seat came when Letterman dared her to scream like she did for in a horror movie she'd acted in. And Hilton did it! But, she agreed to do it only if Dave did it, too. And Dave did it , too.

*******

BTW, aside from Paris Hilton on the late Show, last night was also a big one for CBS because--in case you're still paying attention--Big Brother 5 premiered last night. As if you hadn't had your fill of televised human degradation, otherwise more gently refered to as "reality programming," Big Brother returns with twelve fresh-faced, soon-to-be mutually suspicious and back-stabbing candidates battling for a half-million dollar prize. It took a small crowded European nation like the Netherlands to turn essentially a micromanaged form of cabin fever into a successful global content property. What would George Orwell have thought?

--Instamatic

RELATED LINKS

The Late Show with David Letterman Web Site
Paris Hilton's Steamy Home Video (E!)
The Simple Life 2 Web Site