July 25, 2004
Meeee-OW!: Critics Dump Hate on Catwoman Reviews Crown Flick Big Crap Movie of Summer!
Well, it's official. Catwoman, starring Halle Berry as the feline superhero, in a word, SUCKS! The movie sucks Big time! And the critics agree. But the weekend box office tells a different story as of late Sunday night. According to estimates by Exhibitor Relations Co. Inc., which tracks box office performance, Catwoman came in third place in earnings during its opening weekend on U.S. screens, earning $17.16 million.
That's a moderately healthy showing, but far shorter than what studios execs at Warner Bros. Entertainment and the film's producers had hoped the flick would earn in its first weekend. (The Bourne Supremacy and I, Robot, came in first and second places respectively. See totals below.)
While the box office and Marvel Comics fans have given Catwoman some love at the theaters, the critics' negative reviews and bad word of mouth during the next week or two might cause audiences numbers to slide and sink the film over the long haul.
The movie cost just under $100 million to produce, and if the studio hopes recoup all of that money, it would need to have had a much bigger opening weekend. Huge overseas box office receipts and high sales figures for the eventual DVD later this year could still financially save the would-be blockbuster.
Anyway, enough biz chat and micropunditry. Let's check the vitriol starting witha look at what Wired News had to say about Catwoman. The Web news site let loose with an attack on Friday in a review by Jason Silverman.
"Catwoman is the least urgent, most unconvincing superhero film I've ever seen. It's a fraction as scary as the evening news, and is also stiff, poorly acted and, worst of all, dull."
Ooooooooh! That's gotta hurt! On National Public Radio's Weekend Edition, former New York Times film critic Elvis Mitchell concluded that "Catwoman can carry a movie, but no one bothered to write one around her."
Mitchell, who is Black, noted an important fact about Catwoman--that Halle Berry is the highest paid African-American actress in history. What's more, Catwoman is the most expensive film vehicle built around an African-American actress. The point being that the movie, despite its being derided by critics, is a milestone for Hollywood and American cultural history.
Meanwhile over at the love-it or hate-it NY Post, Lou Lumenick went for the kill with this pun-filled graf:
"A purr-fectly ridiculous and boring cat-astrophe, "Catwoman" more than lives up to the lethal advance buzz and -- even with Halle Berry cavorting like a third-rate dominatrix -- is about as sexy as a hairball."
There was no love from the Village Voice, either. (Though, the Voice being the Voice, harsh words on a movie like this would not be a surprise even if every other critic in the country had thought the film was greatest piece of celluloid ever created.) Mark Holcomb had this to say about the comics-inspired flim:
"Faithful neither to Batman creator Bob Kane's original femme fatale nor to any of the filmed incarnations thereof (including those essayed by Julie Newmar, Eartha Kitt, and Michelle Pfeiffer), this plodding, by-the-numbers superhero flick has all the feline grace of a walleyed mastiff."
At the New York Times, A.O. Scott weighed in with the comment that Catwoman is "A howlingly silly, moderately diverting exercise in high, pointless style." Elsewhere, Connie Ogle of the Miami Herald described the movie as a "Silly, tedious, inept disaster."
But leave it the Chicago Sun-Times film critic and At the Movies co-host Roger Ebert to best sum up his sentiments on the film with this wittily concise and barbed thought: "The director, whose name is Pitof, was probably issued with two names at birth and would be wise to use the other one on his next project." (We doubt Pitoff will pull a Vincent Gallo on Ebert and wish colon cancer upon the critic.)
As noted above, "The Bourne Supremacy," the sequel to "The Bourne Identity," came in first at the box office. Its estimated take was $53.5 million. That's almost double the $27.1 million brought in by the "Bourne Identity" in its opening weekend two years ago. "I, Robot" took second place and $22.05 million in its second weekend, bringing its cumulative take to $95.4 million since it opened ten days earlier.
Links to more reviews below.
--Rob "Whiskers" Samra
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Posted by Supercore at July 25, 2004 11:01 PM
